Phantasmal Gallery
Phantasmal Gallery
Bee Bernthal
I'm Just Resting My Eyes
'I’m Just Resting My Eyes' explores the memories that mould us. For Bee, this has been navigating the lifetime of complex emotions that followed the loss of their father in early childhood. Centred around themes of grief and nostalgia, 'I’m Just Resting My Eyes' is a patchwork of recurring dreams and fragmented memories combined to create a loose documentation of days spent at their father's house as a child. ‘I’m Just Resting My Eyes’ addresses the discomfort of realising that your perception was warped by childlike adoration: even parents are flawed and imperfect humans. Obsessing, fixating on, and unpicking those rose-tinted memories can result in losing sight of reality – one foot in the present, the other stuck in fantasy. A nod to the parallels between sleep and death, this piece aims to capture that feeling of trying to remember a dream you had, or knowing you've forgotten something - but being unable to remember what you forgot. 'I’m Just Resting My Eyes' is a testament to the lingering power parental figures hold over us, and the continued desire for their approval even when the parent themselves is no longer with us. Through this piece, viewers are encouraged to reflect upon the unreliability of memory, their own recollections of love and loss, and the transience of the people we have in our lives. “It’s an ode to a person I didn't really know that well, or for very long, but who simultaneously makes up half of who I am. Something I wonder often is if we could meet today; would they like me? Would I like them?"
A Little Bit About The Artist
A Statement From The Artist
An illustrator, curator, and interdisciplinary creative based in London, Bee Bernthal’s (b. 1998) creative practice spans installations, painting, ceramics and illustration. Bernthal's work often centres around personal narratives from their own experiences of navigating mental health issues, exploring their queer identity, and figuring out their place in the world - inspired by emotions, dreams, memories and the world around them.
Bernthal graduated from The University of Edinburgh with a First Class Ba (Hons) in Illustration, having also completed courses in Queer Studies, Curation and Social Anthropology. In 2022, Bernthal was Longlisted for the World Illustration Awards, for their piece Lovers. After working for several years as a commercial illustrator, their practice of late has shifted into more introspective and ethereal experimentations with gouache.
Through exploring their gender identity as a non-binary individual, the body, and the contextualisation of it, has become another key influence on Bernthal’s practice. Through their work, they strive to disrupt traditional attitudes towards gender in art by interrogating the effect a queer and gender-non-conforming lens can have on documenting the body. Subverting the role of the body as an object solely for pleasure and punishment, and instead depicting it as a vessel that encapsulates all genders, no genders, that can be warped, manipulated, endlessly transformed, destroyed, reborn – and one that is always inherently political.
Bee Bernthal’s pieces (and practice as a whole) aim to mirror these qualities, and is an experimental, ever-evolving medley of references and tongue-in-cheek tributes; documenting the people or things that have had a lasting impact on their psyche, and that have ultimately shaped Bernthal into the person they are today.
Bernthal is also the co-founder of Hysterical, a yearly group exhibition and cultural programme that takes place throughout Women's History Month. The event platforms creatives of marginalised genders reclaiming the term hysterical, and using their practices to call for change. Hysterical has received critical acclaim from press such as The Evening Standard, DAZED, It’s Nice That, ITV Woo, Freeda, BBC Radio London and more.
Tell us about a dream you've had.​
I don’t have one specific dream to share, more a common theme I find equally fascinating and disturbing, that permeates most dreams I have.
After my father passed away in my childhood, I knew I’d want to hold on to everything I could remember about him and the time we had together. Even before I fully understood the permanence of what had happened, I obsessively replayed memories of weekends I’d spent with him, visualised his house in as much detail as possible (down to the floorplans, furnishings and his possessions), and routinely went over a checklist of each memory to ensure it was firmly rooted in my brain.
Being so desperate not to forget him and embedding these memories into my subconscious has meant that even now, almost every time I fall asleep, I find myself in his house, visiting places we went together, or discovering his possessions as ghostly motifs scattered throughout the dream. For most of my life, my mind has found a way to insert an amalgamation of early memories and half-fantasy-half-nonsense into whatever I am dreaming about. Most of the time, I feel ambivalent about it and don't really think about the significance of it - but reflecting on it brings up a lot of emotions that I want to attempt to explore in my work.
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What's your favourite movie or tv show?
​La chimera (2023).
​​​​What is your biggest influence on your practice?
As a whole, my practice is primarily informed by my own lived experiences. Much of my work is driven by personal narrative; whether that's navigating life with mental health issues, making sense of my queer identity, or attempting to figure out my place in the world. I’m often inspired by historical and political movements, as well as emotions, dreams, memories and the world around me.
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